From the footage we've been shown and a first hand account from our director about the scale of the celebrations, our understanding is that this was a party to end all parties; and not only that, it was an Enron party. There stamp has to be smeared all over this work; the flashy, classy, crazy atmosphere they built over the years coming together in a huge celebration; a celebration that was worldwide, but an Enron party, that has to top them all.
Ben had asked us to create a series of poses, the kind you would see on the front of a 90s magazine promoting Enron as the new, flash face of business. Using our poses we created a repeated routine, which could translate onstage into a dance. My moves were hand on hip, arms folded, looking over my shoulder, sat on the floor with my legs extended and crossed and standing with one leg kicked up and my hand and arm thrown backwards. All very glamorous, all very fake, all very Claudia. The idea of using poses to choreograph a dance seems a little over the top- hence why it's perfect for Enron. They were all about the image, at every angle picture perfect and so getting the employees to 'dance' in this way immerses us in a culture which was obsessed with the surface value of everything- on the outside everything needed to look perfect; it was what was underneath the surface that no one could see. And if this wasn't already out of my comfort zone we needed to make Claudia's entrance even bigger to upstage the grandeur already being presented onstage. My entrance will occur on Mani's shoulders and today I was so shaky in the air. Claudia's entrance needs to be poised and controlled and yet what I was doing replicated a wild animal gripping Mani's hands so tight and letting out yelps of fear- so not exactly the aesthetic we were going for. Therefore this is something I definitely need to work on. Like everything else that has stumped me in this process I need to practice it and become comfortable with it before I can perform it successfully. It's the same with this entrance- to me it is so extravagant and embarrassing, but saying that just makes me sound like a broken record. Most of what Claudia does in this play makes me feel this way and it's just got to be something I embrace- not necessarily on a personal level, but in that rehearsal and performance space I have to learn to love it. Again, it's all about creating an illusion of control and beauty, no matter what may be happening underneath, perfect for our particular story.
When I get down onto the floor everyone creates a semi circle around me and performs the dance moves from my sequence. Even though it is something I have just I need to deal with, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous performing in this way. As an actor you want the audiences eyes on you for many different reasons and yet there are moments when they won't be and that provides a safety blanket. Everything in this scene means that I will be observed: the outfit, the entrance, the dance- there is no way of hiding. This idea can be a little daunting. I know that I am essentially being put on show and to become confident with that I need to generate some solid self confidence in what I am doing. Hopefully this will come when we revisit the scene, but today I felt idiotic. However the only reason an audience will see me as an idiot, is because I ooze that negative attitude. For 2 minutes of my life I am going to have to learn to enjoy this sort of limelight. It's a strange juxtaposition- an actress who loves to perform, but who when given the full limelight doesn't want it. Unfortunately what I want doesn't matter; Claudia would want every single persons attention in that room and what Claudia wants she gets.
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