THAT Scene pt.2

Sam and I came in this Friday to work on Scene 2- the one which we tried and failed to work on this Wednesday. Ben was correct; it was definitely something me and Sam needed time alone to work out. The first time we attempted to block the scene, we couldn't take it seriously for more than 1 second; but that is what we expected. After that we took about 10 minutes to sit and laugh about this as Sam and Olivia and then continued, attempting to work as Jeff and Claudia, and if not at that level just yet, as a more professional version of ourselves. We still had awkward  moments and things we had to address that neither of us particularly wanted to mention, but eventually we were able to get comfortable with the scene and were ready to show it to Ben. Ironically for two people that didn't feel particularly comfortable with the scene, to be told that we'd done too much, was amusing. However in a way I'm glad we did because now I know that I don't have to go so far and so whatever happens now, can't be any worse. I think it is one of those things that once we get further on in the process, will be a moment that is so irrelevant in the grand scheme of things, that the fact that it made me uncomfortable will be laughable. However for now I am happy with how it is and I do feel much more comfortable with the whole thing which is important. 

I wanted this role because it was challenging and this tests that- it asks me to ask myself if I was prepared for that? The answer: perhaps I didn't know the specific challenges, but I'm ready to tackle them as they come. Although writing this now it seems as if my professionalism and willingness to give myself over to the character and the process is slim to none, but those feelings are just personal thought processes and the truth is that she is pushing me so far out of my comfort zone, but that is exactly why I wanted the chance to play her. Every day I'm slowly realising that a women that I saw as my foil is someone that I enjoy coming to know. As I come to develop an understanding of her mind, body and soul I see that she has so much depth and texture and she makes me so happy and excited to play. This is difficult, there is no contesting that, and yet it is moments like this, moments in which I feel so uncomfortable, that my inspiration to make the scene work has to come from outside of my own head; it's her I want to make it work for. It is a connection to a character that is proving to be so compelling and it is wonderful to sit here and begin to reflect on work that I would never have believed possible for me to do and the fact is I haven't done anything yet! I have mentioned many times now that the power of the play is that through the creation of these characters you come to love them and develop a sympathy for them and that is so true; Claudia is effecting me and I am coming to love a women that I logically having nothing in common with, a concept that is so thrilling for me as an actress.