Bad day at the office

Today was not a good day. We did some good rehearsing for a time, but this will be recorded as the Enron cast's bad day.

We worked through two scenes today so I'll start with that. Firstly Sam, Tat, Kai and I worked with Ben on the split scene which was a really interesting dynamic to work with. Working in a split scene is a test of concentration and is a demonstration of how well you can build and invest in your world. Kai and Sam share a scene that is very active and upbeat, a scene of high energy and light humour. Sam and Kai's scene is the kind of scene I find myself wanting to watch when I'm not speaking; I find myself taking a glance at them working because they are producing work that is enticing, fun and witty and so naturally you are drawn in. However, I am not their audience in that scene- to me they do not exist in that moment. My scene is about Claudia and Lay sharing a mother and daughter moment, which contrasts the nature of Jeff and Andy's scene, but my investment in my world will be paramount not only in building a good character and relationship in this scene, but helping the audience stay on track in this duel scene and matching the work of the boys on the floor.

I love this scene because it is the first time we see a flip side to Claudia's character. We see a more vulnerable person, a childlike side being bought out by this mothering figure of Lay. Working alongside Lay in our first private scene is a pure joy and something I feel is important to record and talk about because it was the light of a dark day. Tatenda oozes a regal, commanding vibe which creates such a rich atmosphere, yet in this scene Claudia is deliberately contrasting this because she is having a tantrum- if she can't be happy, neither can anyone else. The clash of these two natures in this scene is how we will create sparks which will contrast, but hopefully match the energy the boys bring on the floor. My concerns about this scene currently reside in the feat of making our scene as entertaining as Skilling and Fastow's. The natural comedy Kai brings to his role is so entertaining, so then to be the one to bring a downer on the whole scene; I almost want to tell Claudia to get a grip and shut up so we can all focus on Fastow in that moment. However what I need to remember is that Claudia has been genuinely hurt at this point: her dreams have been shattered, she feels betrayed and worthless and this is her acting out. Our section of the scene may not be lighthearted or go down in the history as the most comical and yet the entertainment and drama will come from the relationship myself and Tat form onstage, fuelled by the raw necessity our characters feel to get their point across. It will be an interesting combination to watch onstage and as Claud and Lay always follow the boys, we have to match their energy and intensity by investing in our world as much as they do. It creates that competitive fight that Enron is all about: to be heard, to be on top, to be the best.

The second scene we blocked today was the analyst scene. You could say the extent of Claudia's role in this scene is opening the doors and that's it, job done, but what I got to do here was watch. There aren't many plays and rehearsals in which when you are told to 'just watch' that you enjoy it- it isn't the meatiest task to be given, but I really enjoyed just experiencing this world that is being pieced together each week as we work. I was observing in two minds: number one as Olivia, getting to revel in the excitement that this world gives me, for me as an actress, it's like being a child at Christmas; it comes around every year and yet each time you get just as excited. Then I observe as Claudia, bitter and begrudging of Skilling as he obtains everything I wanted. Both gives me emotional stimulus in my gut which is something I want to carry through into the next scenes, an energy that I hope will translate onstage and inject passion into my following scenes which is informed entirely by the stimulus of the world and the character.

And now for the elephant in the room- why was the rehearsal so bad? If you took into account how personally productive I found it, it would appear to be a very successful rehearsal, but here's the catch. Forgetting the details of the incident, today our ensemble forgot the core thing holding us together; we are a unit, a family and when we decide to turn on one another, we lose a relationship and connection that we have all seen grow and form over the weeks. And it was really sad to see that in question today. Our rehearsal finished today with Ben reminding us that if we repeat what happened today, we will let him, ourselves and each other down. What he said to us today was harsh but it needed to be said- at the end of the day as a group of people, we are responsible for each other's actions. This is a unit reliant on communication, care and trust- without that we are left with nothing. If we forget that these people are our family for the next 5 months, not just out of necessity, but because we are coming to know and love people we have not been able to interact with previously, we will lose a component that makes this all so magical. That bond is so precious, so special and yet fragile- one person could destroy that and without it we lose a spark that lights up this whole piece. Having a bad day today is okay, as long as we move forward heeding the words that have been spoken and making an internal promise to sort it out- there is no other way if we want this piece to come to fruition.